These Vintage Ads Were Once Socially Acceptable – But Now They’re A Bit Disturbing

Crack open a magazine or unfurl your morning paper, and what do you expect to find? Ads! Lots of companies trying to get you to buy their stuff. If you happened across an old newspaper, though, you probably wouldn’t be uplifted or tantalized by how brands shilled their goods – more patronized or offended. Prepare to be shocked as you check out these 50 unbelievable – but totally real – vintage ads.

50. I’ll enlist as a lady, thanks

The artist’s signature on this painting reveals that they completed the artwork during World War I. And it was a clearly different time – you know, the era in which women couldn’t serve their country. Though as it turns out, ladies have all the strength and intelligence required of a naval officer. Too bad for the men-only troops of WWI!

49. Bald and bizarre

Now, this is quite the sales pitch! Apparently, you should buy a hairdryer even if you don’t have a single strand atop your head. We wouldn’t see such an ad today because, well, it makes no sense. Plus, it seems to poke fun at those sans hair. And now we know better – being bald is no less beautiful than having a voluminous mane.

48. Beer-y goodness

There’s nothing like that first beer of the day. No one would argue, though, that a pint of Guinness “[does] you good” or “gives you power.” And yet this 1968 ad – which circulated after the company built an outpost in Sierra Leone – claims that the stout can improve drinkers’ health. Huh.

47. Stay skinny and never stop cleaning

Wow, you can be the perfect housewife just by eating the right cereal?! And it gets even better – by which we actually mean worse. You’d have enough energy to do all of your housework but not so much that you’d gain weight. Absolutely charming.

46. The presidential seal of approval

In this ad’s defense, we’ve since learned a lot more about the dangers of smoking cigarettes. But that doesn’t make it any less shocking to see a tobacco brand using a U.S. president to sell its products. Honest Abe probably wouldn’t have approved.

45. An unsafe snack for dogs

Gotta love an ad with dogs! But pet lovers may find this a bit offputting with all we know about caring for canines today. Basically, you shouldn’t be giving your dog too much bread, as it’s lacking the nutrients your pup needs to grow and thrive. Even more offensive is the dough, which can release toxic amounts of ethanol into Fido’s belly. We’ll stick with actual doggie biscuits from here on out…

44. We’re not interested in the fine print

We could zoom in and read the text in this long soap-centric ad. Maybe it’s less sexist than it first looks? But the truth is that we don’t care to read the justification behind the question. Perhaps women started looking more tired and aged than their male counterparts because of asinine inquiries like this one...

43. Go cheap or go home

Most ads depict a product’s low cost – and their customers’ money-saving ways – as positive things. Here, though, we see the weird flipside of that angle. A rich woman decides she will, just this once, stoop for the cheap margarine because it tastes just as good. Yikes.

42. Serve not your country but your man

The Canadian Women’s Army Corps – the CWAC for short – needed to recruit more ladies into its ranks. So, rather than, well, listing the attributes of someone who’d suit the service, they decided to go the sexist route. A woman would only serve because she was bored without her man at home, right?

41. ...Or she could buy it herself

Perhaps you like company when you go to the car dealership? It’s nice to have a second opinion, after all, or maybe your partner is better at haggling for a good price. If you want to buy a new ride, though, that decision is all down to you. Luckily, sexist ads like this one no longer apply to the female driver who wants a set of wheels.

40. Something’s missing here...

Sure, girls should clean their teeth regularly to keep them bright and healthy. But are women the only ones who should prioritize their dental hygiene? Obviously not – and that’s why this ad rubs us the wrong way. Boys should have been instructed to keep their smiles sparkling, too.

39. A boozy brushing

Check out this vintage product! If regular toothpaste was too feminine – please read that with extreme sarcasm – then there was always this bourbon-infused brand for the guys. We can’t imagine it actually cleaned teeth too well, though...

38. Mum’s the word

Flight attendants don’t really get their dues. They keep passengers safe and comfortable for the duration of a flight – whether for 45 minutes or 18 hours – and that isn’t easy. And, of course, this means they should always be treated with the utmost respect. Though we still find this ad a bit creepy. Why did they have to bring mothers into it?

37. ...But it’ll stick to your lungs

We guess that you’d want non-stick cigarettes so that the smoke wouldn’t linger on your breath. But even if this ad promises you cig-free lips after a smoke break, it can’t promise the same experience for your lungs…

36. Sugar’s for patriots

Diabetes. Obesity. Heart disease. Nowadays, experts know the health dangers of eating foods high in added sugar. And among this list of offending sweeteners is dextrose: the one we see advertised glowingly in this spread. At one point, it was the sugar of choice in the army – a fact used to peddle the stuff to the American people.

35. She just needs a bath

It’s a bit extreme to describe a wife and mom who asks for help around the house as someone “on a warpath.” But then again, vintage ads had no trouble shaming their female subjects. A stressed-out homemaker apparently just needed to take a bath, and her nagging ways would disappear. It would be a lot easier to just help her out with the chores, we think…

34. Smoking down the chimney

Whether he was hauling smokes in his sack or stuffing stockings with tobacco, Santa Claus was regularly seen shilling cigarettes in the first half of the 20th century. And, oddly, he was used to link cigs with the spirit of Christmas. We’re still trying to figure that one out…

33. You know what’s good for you? Pesticides

This adorable ad features a happy woman, smiling animals and downright giddy fruits and veggies. All of them grin and promise the buyer that DDT is good for them. Yikes! If you’re unaware of what DDT is, then let us explain: it’s a pesticide. And, yes, this print is trying to sell it as a good thing to the American public!

32. Smoking is cute

At first glance, you saw polar bears dancing and thought little else of it. Upon further inspection, though, you probably realized that the animals aren’t just having fun. They’re smoking cigarettes! Gasp! Thankfully, you wouldn’t see anything like this in the 21st century, as tobacco ads that could be construed as targeting kids are now outlawed.

31. A true S.O.S.

We can appreciate this ad suggesting that husbands actually get involved with the housework. But it still starts with a frustrating sentiment: wives burn dinners. Talk about a tired old trope...

30. A Navy no-no

Look, when you’re recruiting people to take on a dangerous but vital job, you should be as complimentary as possible. The Navy seemingly didn’t get that memo, however, in the 20th century. Here’s another sexist ad that claims only a man could wear the military uniform. Sure…

29. You’re boring your husband? Better feed him soup

The text of this ad is truly mind-blowing. It blames men’s bad behavior on their wives’ inability to mix things up. Then it has the audacity to present a solution to the problem: serving more cans of Heinz soup for dinner. Who knew men could be satisfied so easily?!

28. Spank your child for an upset stomach

Times have changed, and parents punish their children differently today than they did in the past. But even though most moms and dads skip spankings nowadays, it’s crazy to consider the reasons why they may have turned to them in the past. This ad provides one truly outlandish cause for punishment: a child passing too much gas.

27. For your asthma

Even if you don’t have asthma, you know that it makes it hard for people to breathe. Basically, a cigarette would be the last thing to help. And yet here we are! Back in the day, asthma relief apparently came by way of puffing on a tobacco-filled cylinder. Yeah, that makes absolutely no sense...

26. Which one’s which?

Nowadays, we recognize that women and men can be more than one thing. But it’s clear this ad has pigeonholed each gender into a box: the blonde girl represents beauty, while the brawny lifeguard represents strength. All of this stereotyping for a tire? We’ll pass.

25. For your wives only

Most adults can safely operate an oven or a stove or a dishwasher. Well, we hope so, anyway! But this ad tried to convince consumers otherwise. Worse yet, it promised to help only a subset of women: wives. Because, as we all know, single ladies don’t use ovens…

24. Walk all over her

Any guesses what this ad is meant to be selling? Believe it or not, it’s asking men to purchase a pair of slacks – pants so good that women would allow the wearer to walk all over them. Whether or not they could promise that all ladies would transform into tiger skin rugs is unclear.

23. It’s a man’s world, lady

Pop on a new tie, and voila, your wife will suddenly realize that you’re in charge. If you don’t believe us, look at the guy in this ad. He’s laying in bed in a button-up shirt and tie while his wife fawns over him. And that’s all thanks to the accessory around his neck. Well, if you believe the ad, anyway...

22. Passion gone? It’s your fault

The text of this ad is truly unbelievable. So, rather than sum it up, we’re just going to copy and paste it. It reads, “Instead of blaming him if married love begins to cool, [the wife] should question herself.” If your jaw isn’t already on the floor, then know this. The ad’s for a feminine hygiene product from Lysol, so you can figure out why the company is saying it’s the woman’s fault. Ugh.

21. Society women don’t stink

Women couldn’t simply get out of the bath and go to a party – or according to this vintage ad, at least. Instead, they had to slather themselves in fragrance so that no one could smell their natural musk. Otherwise, society wouldn’t accept them. A non-perfumed person was “indelicate” and therefore unwanted. Ouch.

20. The queen of cigarettes

Old-school cigarette ads were pretty outlandish, but this one has to be among the most outrageous of them all! Not only does it objectify a woman by putting her legs on display, but there’s a guy crowning the carton of cigarettes attached to said pins. It’s pretty crazy that something like this made it into print – by today’s standards, anyway.

19. A horrible idea

We barely know what to say about this unreal gun ad targeting female customers. It promises that a gun – dainty enough for a lady to hold – will be enough to protect her from society’s biggest creeps. And while the logic does check out, that seems like pretty extreme advice.

18. We doubt he’s thinking of soup

Men are layered, meaning they certainly have plenty on their minds at all times. But if we had to predict what was running through a guy’s head at any given moment, we wouldn’t say soup. Certainly not French onion soup...

17. Don’t walk down the aisle dirty

You’ll certainly see ads today that ask you to take control of your reproductive health. But you won’t find any written in such blunt terms as this ad! Apparently, you’ll only be happily married if you don’t have a sexually transmitted infection.

16. Have a shape he won’t forget

It’s nice to know that the person you love is thinking about you. But are they thinking about you just because you’re thin? Probably not. Back in the day, Tab promised to help you stay on their mind with sugar-free drinks. It made sense: if you stayed away from sugar, you’d be slim, which would make you worthy of a daydream. Well, we say it makes sense, but it’s actually really insulting.

15. Ignorance isn’t bliss

Here, we have a feminine hygiene product that casts the blame on a woman for her fizzling relationship. Yup, really. And that’s even if she doesn’t know about this company’s cleansing products. There’s no excuse, ladies!

14. A truly miraculous soap

We all know that soap’s awesome at cleaning skin. It may even make you smell better. But this vintage ad goes above and beyond all that. Supposedly, the suds of La-Mar soap could make users slimmer! Hmmm, we’re not sure if we buy it…

13. This is a video game ad

Now, we’re all for a little tongue-in-cheek humor. Even a smutty suggestion or two! But this ad went a bit too far: from the image to the header and the copy that describes the product. We don’t know about you, but we’ll never look at our video game consoles in the same way again...

12. I’d prefer you to be pretty, thanks

Who needs an education when you can buy a bar of soap? That’s what Palmolive suggested many years ago. Men in that era didn’t care about a woman’s brains. Oh no! They just wanted her to be pretty – a dream achievable by simply lathering up.

11. ‘Men are better than women’

Just the first five words of this ad are enough to make your skin crawl. But don’t forget to look down. There, we see a lady pictured falling off a cliff while her male counterparts finish the climb. We’ve evolved from here, thankfully – and watched womankind climb their mountains time and time again.

10. Hand Difference

It makes sense to market some products differently to men and women, but pens? The pitch here is that the ladies have much smaller hands, so naturally, they need the Compact Jotter pen to navigate the difficult task of writing something down. Note that this condescending product was explicitly made by men.

9. Sun Never Sets

Here's a product from the days when parents didn't worry about leaving their kids sitting in a hot car. According to this company, a young child needs not just love and care, but plenty of sunlight. And their families didn't have to wait for daytime to let their children soak up some rays. Never mind that the device looks like a heating lamp for a lizard.

8. Beauty Matters

This ad proclaimed that the most important thing a woman could offer was her beauty — and not just visual beauty. A woman's body had to be absolutely perfect, but it would all be for nothing if she gave off any sign of body odor. Thankfully, a deodorant flew off the shelves to ensure ladies could maintain all their charms.

7. Housewife Woes

Ah yes, another advertisement stating that a wife's chief responsibilities were cooking and cleaning. Why hasn't there ever been a great kitchen set geared towards husbands? As many housewives of the period might have agreed, if leftovers were so easy to heat up, why didn't the husbands just serve themselves?

6. Smoke in the Kitchen

Here's a quaint domestic scene from Schlitz in the 1950s. After a long day at work, the good husband doesn't lose his temper while his housewife burns the meal she was cooking. Instead, he looks to the bright side. There was still enough beer in the fridge to get hammered.

5. Vocal Power

This ad offered fellas the secret to wooing their brides-to-be: the He-Man voice. By buying a special booklet, a man could sound loud and brash in order to take control of the room. But how times have changed. Nowadays, a loud and brash man would get more eye rolls than eager dinner dates.

4. Pony Lovers

Whatever happened to spreading jam or plain old butter on your toast? Despite Dickman's best efforts, using horsefat as a topping never really caught on. Don't worry, the ad also explained that hooves were also put in for extra flavor. Who knew the once cute question between a parent and child — "Daddy, can I have a pony?" — could become so sinister.

3. Which Is Witch

Most vintage ads lacked female empowerment, so perhaps this one was headed in a better direction. Not only is it feline-friendly, but it promoted a full-on invitation for all girls and women to join in on a friendly neighborhood coven to tap into the powers they all held. If bad breath unnerved men, then this could have induced a heart attack.

2. Vocal Power

This ad offered fellas the secret to wooing their brides-to-be: the He-Man voice. By buying a special booklet, a man could sound loud and brash in order to take control of the room. But how times have changed. Nowadays, a loud and brash man would get more eye rolls than eager dinner dates.

1. Pharmaceuticals Start Manipulating

Back in the early 1920s, Tragic Edna served as the spokeswoman for Listerine. She suffered from halitosis, or bad breath, and in a series of ads, the Lambert Pharmaceutical Company suggested its product was the cure. Before this campaign, halitosis was not considered a medical problem. The company made it into one to sell a product.

But not everyone was so unenlightened back in the day. Take the Victorian era, for instance. You probably think of it as a time when everyone – especially women – strived to be as prim and proper as possible. The ladies who wrote into the magazine Tit-Bits, on the other hand? They were, let’s just say, pretty savage – especially when it came to men. These members of the so-called fairer sex gave refreshingly frank, surprisingly witty and occasionally heartbreaking answers to the question “Why am I a spinster?” And even now, their responses are bound to strike a chord.

20. I can’t be tamed

Let’s face it: not everyone is cut out for marriage. Some would rather spend their lives on their own, making their own decisions without anyone else’s input. And even in the Victorian era, Sarah Kennerly considered herself to be one such free spirit. She explained her choices to Tit-Bits using a wild horse metaphor.

Yet while, as Kilbride claimed, these crafts were accepted “with much pleasure” by potential suitors, the guys never returned the favor – or, you know, wanted to marry her. Instead, she wrote, she had become “a derelict cargo of treasure on the shore of the nuptial sea.” No wonder she stuck to stitching.

19. I just wanted to win this contest

The women who submitted their stories to Tit-Bits were, on the whole, very much single. Londoner Lilian Harris claimed, by contrast, that she had found her “beau ideal.” But according to the 21-year-old, she still found herself alone – and for a hilarious reason.

Harris admitted – seemingly as a joke – that it was the magazine’s very contest that had convinced her to part from her perfect boyfriend. The single lady wrote, “Then why am I a spinster? ’Tis Tit-Bits to blame. I long to gain the ‘Spinsters Prize’ and so be known to fame.” She at least got her name in the magazine, so mission almost accomplished.

18. My stitching will get me further

Miss Maude M. Kilbride could work wonders with a needle and thread – but with men? Not so much. She poetically explained, “Smoking caps I’ve embroidered by dozens, pretty slippers I’ve worked by the score, for both nice-looking curates and cousins, and each one of my embroidery wore.”

Kennerly wrote, “Like the wild mustang of the prairie that roams unfettered, tossing his head in utter disdain at the approach of the lasso which, if once round his neck, proclaims him captive, so I find it more delightful to tread on the verge of freedom and captivity than to allow the snarer to cast around me the matrimonial lasso.” In other words, she simply couldn’t be tamed.

17. His kisses weren’t great

Miss E. J. L. Simpson seemed to have tried to find a partner. She certainly appeared to have smooched a few of them, anyway. But, as she recalled it, no one’s lips had made her feel those butterflies they tell you about. And she wrote to Tit-Bits, “Did ever a suitor propose to press on my lips a lover-like kiss I scornfully turned up my nose.”

Still, in retrospect, Simpson did admit that she may have been a bit harsh on her suitors of days gone by. She wrote, “I wished Mr. Right ‘to come up to the scratch,’ and happy and careless I stayed.” In the end, those decisions had left her riding solo. She concluded, “But left I am now without any mate, a cappy and hairless old maid!”

16. She’d rather have cake, honestly

We think quite a few modern-day ladies will relate to Miss Emmaline Lawrence’s reason for staying single. She didn’t waste her time writing poetry about it, either. Instead, she put it plainly, writing, “Because men, like three-cornered tarts, are deceitful.” And the savagery only continued.

Yes, Lawrence had much more to say. Further comparing men to bad pastries, she wrote, “They are very pleasing to the eye, but on closer acquaintanceship prove hollow and stale – consisting chiefly of puff, with a minimum of sweetness and an unconquerable propensity to disagree with one.”

15. Not my kind of buzz

So many married couples have described the electricity they felt when meeting their spouses for the first time. “Sparks flew,” they’ll say. But not everyone seeks out the feeling, nor did have they ever wanted it in the past. Just look at what Miss Laura Bax had to say in her note to Tit-Bits.

Spinster Bax said that she chose to be alone “because matrimony is like an electric battery: when you once join hands, you can’t let go, however much it hurts.” Not only that, but she compared getting hitched to “a toboggan slide.” Why? Well, according to her, “You must go to the bitter end – however much it bumps.” With such unpleasant metaphors in Bax’s mind, it’s no wonder she passed on finding a groom.

14. He couldn’t afford me

Sometimes, Victorian women had to be practical about their partners, as not every man had the right job to support a wife. And Miss E. Jones revealed that money had everything to do with her life as a spinster. She explained, “John, whom I loved, was supplanted in his office by a girl who is doing the same amount of work he did for half the salary he received.”

So, with John out of work – and unable to make the cash he could before – Miss Jones came to a tough conclusion. Simply put, her beau “could not earn sufficient to keep a home.” And when he ended up traveling abroad in search of more money, his beloved had then been left alone and single – or, in other words, a spinster.

13. Okay, maybe this one’s my fault

Hindsight is 20/20, they say – and that was certainly the case with spinster Alice Maud Jeffrey. She wrote into Tit-Bits to claim that she had stayed single forever because, well, she may have been a smidge too picky. She explained, “I have procrastinated, vacillated and alternated. I have been fickle when I ought to have been faithful.”

Jeffrey continued, “I have been deaf when I ought to have heard, blind when I ought to have seen [and] giddy and gay when I ought to have been staid and circumspect.” And in her eighties, she had been left with regrets, it seemed. “It will leave me, for the white winter of life, a lonely spinster when I ought to have been a British matron,” she concluded. Ouch.

12. I let him out of my grasp

Miss W. Mosley chose to illustrate her struggles with men by comparing them to, well, her cat. She wrote, “A kitten caught a little mouse, and, being fond of play, she let it run about the house until it got away.” And watching her pet get “cross” with her loss made the author feel “pity” for the animal… At first, anyway.

Mosley’s mind then turned to her missteps with her own mouse – er, man. She wrote, “A fine young fellow courted me. I thought I held him fast, but, oh! I tampered with his love, and he escaped at last.” So, this lady’s savage reason for being single came down to her own behavior, not the man’s!

11. Nobody’s angel

Miss A. Wood Smith explained her desire to be single by cooking up a mock “wanted” ad – one written from the viewpoint of a man in search of a wife. This ideal mate would be able to “handle a broom, to brush down the cobwebs and sweep up the room.” She would also be expected to “make decent bread that a fellow can eat, not the horrible compound you often meet.”

If you’re not already scoffing, there’s more. The ad further described a woman who could cook, brew a proper cup of tea, clean, sew her husband’s britches, iron and make clothes. It concluded that she should be, hilariously, “a sort of angel and housewife combined.” Given those expectations of a Victorian woman, we don’t blame Wood for staying a spinster.

10. It’s America’s fault

Not every Tit-Bits contributor viciously took down men as a whole, though. Miss Jessie Davies, for example, had more of an issue with the dating scene in her hometown of Birmingham. She found that a massive number of her fellow singletons came from a country across the pond – and she was not impressed by them.

It’s unclear whether Davies had a problem with the selection of men or with the ladies she saw as competition. Either way, she certainly preferred to do things the British way. She explained her singledom simply, writing, “Because I am an English lady, and the Americans monopolize the market.”

9. I found a better job

Relationships take work – and no one knew that better than the ladies of the Victorian era. Not only was finding a husband a 19th-century woman’s main responsibility in life, but after marriage they also had to stand behind their man in every venture he took on. For those who couldn’t afford a team of servants, housework and childcare were ultimately foisted onto them, too.

Florence Watts took all of the above into consideration and clearly thought to herself, “I can do better.” Well, that’s what she wrote into Tit-Bits to say, anyway. And Watts justified her choices by saying, plainly, “I have other professions open to me in which the hours are shorter, the work more agreeable and the pay possibly better.” Makes sense.

8. A man with a title or bust

In her letter to Tit-Bits, Miss Annie Newton explained that, well, not just any suitor would do for her. For one thing, she worked as a cook, and she had a whole £14 saved up in the bank. Given that hoarded wealth, she needed someone higher up the social ladder than a mere policeman or soldier.

Basically, Newton was waiting for a man with a title to fall in love with her. She wrote, “I am waiting for an earl or duke to propose.” But her dream of land, riches and money had yet to come true. “That’s why I am a spinster,” she concluded. At least she didn’t relax her standards?

7. No one has enlisted me yet

One Victorian woman ended up inflicting a harsh self-burn when describing why she was still single. Before we get into this one, though, we need to talk about a group called the Rifle Volunteers. These organized civilian militias formed on the coasts of Wales, England and Scotland, ready to defend their country should invaders arrive on British shores.

But most of the smaller regiments of these volunteer fighters ended up disappearing, as military officials came to prefer larger battalions. And the plight of some of these soldiers resonated with spinster Annie Thompson. The reason she gave for being unmarried? “Because I am like the Rifle Volunteers: always ready but not yet wanted.”

6. I’d rather have a dog

Families of all means had pets during the Victorian era. Naturally, the richest clans dropped tons of cash on their furry companions, but even the less moneyed classes kept cats to get rid of pests and dogs to ensure their homes were safe. Birds were trendy during this time, too, as were rabbits and fish.

A spinster named Miss Sparrow clearly considered this fact when she decided whether or not to find a beau. And in the end, she decided to stick with her four-legged friends. She claimed, “I do not care to enlarge my menagerie of pets, and I find the animal man less docile than a dog, less affectionate than a cat and less amusing than a monkey.” Burn!

5. Your faces aren’t good enough

William Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew introduces audiences to Katherina. And as you may remember from English class, she’s a bit stubborn and hesitant to fall in love. Ultimately, though, Katherina ends up enamored with a man named Petruchio, who takes the time and effort to soften her – albeit in ways that would not be okay in 2021.

And a spinster named Miss Lizzie Moore knew the story so well that she used it to explain the harsh reason she chose to stay solo. She wrote, “My reason for being a spinster is answered in a quotation from The Taming of the Shrew: ‘Of all the men alive I never yet beheld that special face which I could fancy more than any other.’”

4. I only need one 9-to-5

We’ve already touched on the fact that Victorian women had to do a lot of housework. Some of the single ladies were employed in other roles until they walked down the aisle, though, and spinster Sophia Drew told Tit-Bits that she ultimately preferred to stick with what she knew. Yep, at the end of the day, she only needed one job.

Drew wrote, “As there are so many more women than men, we cannot all hope to marry, but please do not think I am dissatisfied. I am only now a dairymaid. If married, I should be a wife, mother, nurse, housekeeper, chambermaid, seamstress, laundress, dairymaid and scrub generally.” We get her point.

3. My cat won’t cheat on me

Miss Annie Custance had plenty of good reasons for being single, and some of them revolved around her pet cat. She explained, “Although he may wander and leave me at night, I can always depend he won’t come home tight. So I’ll stick to my cat as long as he seem content with the milk – I’ll take the cream.”

Mind you, Custance took a few more opportunities to drag actual human men. She claimed that members of the opposite sex were “so selfish” and “[came] home very late only to snub” their ladies. And the spinster ended her message with a zinger. She concluded, “Good men are scarce, but fools there are plenty. That’s why I’m single at seven-and-twenty.” Boom.

2. Not just anyone will do

You should have realized by now that not all spinsters have sad tales of loss and regret. Many ladies – even from decades and eras past – simply decided to be alone because they couldn’t find anyone worthy of them. Yes, a great woman deserves a equally great man, and nothing less will do.

That was the energy brought to Tit-Bits magazine by spinster S.A. Roberts. She compared herself to “a piece of rare china” to try and make plain her reasons for being alone. Roberts added, “I am breakable and mendable but difficult to match.” In other words, she was simply one of a kind – too good for any basic man.

1. No time for liars

Like many of the women who wrote into Tit-Bits magazine, Miss Gore chose to explain her singledom in the form of a poem. She started by suggesting to readers, “Write on the sands when the tide is low, seek the same spot when the waters flow; whisper a name when the tempest’s heard, pause for echo to catch the word.”

40. Soda Head

Soda has a bad rap for many reasons. It's sugared up, caffeinated bubble water with plenty of artificial flavoring. But based on this 1950s ad, some parents believed soda was the perfect drink for their little one. Would it be good for their bones? Not at all. But the executives at 7 Up hoped no families caught on.