Hotel Staff Reveals What Really Happens Behind Closed Doors

Sometimes, cleaning is even psychologically scarring. One housekeeper's lowest moment came when they "once went to clean a room, only to find pages torn out of a porn mag and taped all over the walls, bloody sheets, and dirty messages written on the bathroom mirror in lipstick." If the next guest in the room had known, they'd also be horrified.

You'd think hotels would want nothing to do with crime, but they often don't care. A former employee revealed, "The manager knew exactly what kind of stuff happened...he'd say things like, 'Oh, that's room 324. They steal IDs and Social Security numbers,' and 'That's room 409, they sell Xboxes out of their room,' and he'd say it like it was nothing."

Some owners don't even realize their establishment has turned into a crime hotbed. "We recently learned that our employees have been running a drug ring right under our noses...the guy on shift sells rooms at $30 an hour for people to do drugs in, and then pockets the profits. The housekeeper cleans up the rooms after they leave, except she’s been slacking and that’s how we caught on."

When you receive your hotel bill, check the math for mistakes. Some places have a policy that they won't notify you of mistaken charges, and worse, the charges won't be automatically amended. One employee confessed, "Those things do easily happen, but we’re instructed not to delete them unless you call and inquire." In other words, it's a quick way to make a buck.

Maybe you're the person who comes into hotels prepared, Lysol-ing everything from the door knobs to the furniture, but you're likely missing the real germ culprit: the room key! One employee said, "I’ve had keys returned in the nastiest conditions: covered in snot, mud, unknown bodily fluids, etc...wipe them down as soon as you get them."

Another germy item in the room is the TV remote, which could be as frequently-used and unsanitary as the key. "You might wanna sanitize those next time you go to change a channel," says another hotel employee. The warning might just spare you more than the cooties, as remotes are evidently never cleaned.

Drawers and nightstands aren't cleaned, either, which means that missing items often wound up being found by the next guests. One find had the receptionist reeling: "An old man came up...and said, 'this was left from a previous guest, right next to the Holy Bible,' and placed a loaded gun on the front desk." Not a good start to a family vacation.

Customer service goes both ways: if you want someone to be nice to you, you ought to be nice to them, especially when they have power over perks or upgrades you'd like to get access to. One anonymous worker said this about nasty customers: "if you sound like a jerk on the phone, the room you were asking about will always suddenly become unavailable."

If you're an unbearable guest, chances are you won't only be banned from entering that hotel, but others in the area. "The hotel I work at has a 'beware this guest' list, and we have a lot of neighboring hotel friends," one worker said. "So basically, if you trash a room or are unbelievably rude, every hospitality establishment within 30 miles will know."

It's nice not having to worry about cleaning on vacation, but "nice" isn't the word hotel staff use. Some messes are trauma-inducing: one guest was kind enough to leave a note saying "Sorry, I had an accident," but the apology wasn't enough. "The 'accident' was diarrhea all over the bed, floor, and bathroom," said housekeepers, who deserve a raise after handling that fiasco.

If you do have an accident, at the very least, don't try to hide it. One guest did, and staff had to track the mess down. "[The] room stank so badly that we had to list it as out-of-order while we looked for the smell. After two weeks, we finally found an old pile of vomit hidden between a chest of drawers and the bed frame," they said.

The worst part of all these messes is how the hotel staff are told to handle them...or not handle them. "If someone pukes, pees, or poops in a bed at our hotel, the mattress isn’t replaced. The housekeepers will just spot-clean...and then one of the maintenance guys flips the mattress," said an insider. Next time we visit a hotel, we'll just sleep standing up.

Everyone has their own method in cleaning, but one revelation is so gross it's probably illegal. An anonymous staff member said, "I personally knew a housekeeper who used the same cleaning rag to clean both the toilets, and everywhere else in the rooms!" You might want to pack a hazmat suit as well as that bottle of sunscreen.

Some of the cleaners really hate the guests, to the point of cutting corners. "Some cleaners wash the mugs that are provided in-room in the bathroom sink, then dry them with the used pillow cases," someone shared, further revealing why we perhaps should think twice before staying anywhere else but home.

If you guessed that even the laundry room isn't as clean as it should be, you're absolutely correct — for a surprising reason. A hotel employee shared the juicy secret about their laundry room: "The laundry room that's used for folding bedsheets is a GREAT place for quickies with guests." Those are definitely not the kind of folding maneuvers you'd expect.

At least the sheets are washed, though they may need another cycle after those little liaisons. That's more than we can say for the comforter, though, which has seen and experienced far more than exotic dances. "Those things can go months without getting washed," said a housekeeper, "and be used by HUNDREDS of people, who also forego using the sheets." Yuck!

If you thought the laundry room was bad, wait until you enter the kitchen. One story reveals all: "The kitchen at the hotel I worked at was disgusting — there was a meat fridge that stank of death, and the grill was never cleaned as it 'added flavor' to the steaks. Gross!" Maybe think twice about ordering room service.

Even the actual food that's served is subpar. One five-star restaurant that was part of a hotel was cutting corners with their dishes to save a buck, according to one server. "I worked...in a five-star restaurant inside a wildly popular and celebrity-frequented hotel," they said. "All of the vegetables we served came from cans." Honestly, the overpriced minibar would be a better deal.

What if a guest dies in their suite? One London Hotel worker admitted that they only found out because of the smell, and even worse, the room wasn't closed for business. "Housekeeping found him, his body was taken away, the bed was changed, and someone else was checked in later that same afternoon." Hardly enough time for deep cleaning.

Another insider gave some universal advice: "Never look at a hotel room with a black light. Just don't." Certain, erm, bodily fluids glow under ultraviolet light, and you definitely wouldn't sleep in peace if you saw just how many spots housekeeping missed. Hotels aren't always gross, though — sometimes, they're just full of confusing design fails.

In saving a few bucks on a cheap hotel, these travelers peeled back the curtains and were rewarded with a once-in-a-lifetime view of... an egg-white wall. City views? Overrated. Fresh air? Who needs it!

You're weren't allowed to smoke in this hotel, but hey, rules are meant to be broken. No one appreciated that fact better than this hotel, apparently, because it provided cool ash trays to give rebels that warm anarchist glow.

Promises of a communal pool really sealed the deal for travelers stopping at this motel. Too bad those buck savers didn't read the fine print saying the pool was actually for gravel only.

One hotel guest stopped to consider the purpose of a random door oddly placed at the top of a staircase. Maybe it's meant as a barrier to prevent people from an unlucky tumble, or perhaps it's just to annoy guests carrying luggage?

Who needs an air vent when you can save a few bucks and have the appearance of an air vent? Tempting offer, no? Perhaps worse than the fake vent itself was that the installers didn't even bother to center it over the tiles!

When this hotel promised a gym to travelers, advertisements probably forgot to mention said gym was a single exercise bike crammed in a corner next to the ice machine. Think that's bad? Wait until someone tries opening that small door.

You've got to hand it to this hotel: it really found out how to utilize a small space for the bathroom. The whole thing was a shower. Hopefully this room was only rented out to single travelers or couples who were really comfortable with each other.

Stepping out onto a hotel balcony and taking in a single glimpse of a new city can be invigorating. Of course, that implies you can actually step out onto the balcony. The one at this hotel was apparently made for ants.

Safety first, you know? This hotel took that saying to heart when they put a fire sprinkler right above the shower head. That way, if there was a fire while you took a shower, you were twice as safe!

They say a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, but how can you take that step if your pants are around your ankles? Someone didn't consider that until after they installed the toilet paper holder.

The cabinetry in this hotel room was more of an optical illusion than anything. Open the doors to take a peek inside, and it's not dishware or cleaning supplies you'd find, but a dirty white wall!

Walking into a wall is a surefire way to make your vacation a memorable one, and this hotel was kind enough to make sure travelers were guaranteed to eat a mouthful of paint. How nice.

This hotel wasn't built for the claustrophobic. Heck, even a large bird couldn't spread its wings in this cramped bathroom! But, thankfully, there's a drain in the middle of the floor for multitasking purposes. So, is it really that bad?

Sometimes when you cheap out on a hotel, the least you can ask for is a little extra security. This hotel tried its best to offer that. Really, it did, but there was just one crucial piece missing.

If you're in a wheelchair, this elevator really isn't for you. Then again, if you're any wider than a thick piece of paper—and we're willing to bet you are—this elevator isn't really for you, either.

With a WiFi password like this, the hotel made certain that no drifters were going to wander in and hijack some free Internet. They also made sure that people staying at the hotel wouldn't be able to access the net, unless they were Mary Poppins herself!

Privacy is nothing but a societal construct forced onto us by the man... at least, according to this hotel. Why else would they make sure passersby had full visual access to someone poppin' a squat?

This one is simple! One hallway leads to odd-numbered rooms and the other leads to the even-numbered ones. Wait a second—that isn't right. Hotel guests might have to go on a wild goose chase to find their rooms here!

Nothing says "safe and sound" quite as well as this hotel elevator, which suddenly stops sometimes. Hey — at least employees warned people. And how can you worry when they leave a reassuring message like "trust us?"

Here's yet another hotel room meant exclusively for solo travelers. And it seems less like a hotel room and more like a glorified closet. But, hey, sometimes all that's needed is a place to rest your head. Just watch your elbows.