Woman Turns Herself Into A 'Cyborg' To Fight Back Against Disney

Are there really any theme parks in the world as magical as Disney World? Jennifer couldn't get enough of the incredible detail and effort that went into every single ride and attraction. She knew that Disney truly had something for everyone, though as she spent more time there, she did notice one harsh reality.

That reality was other visitors. A whole lot of them. One thing you won't see in a television commercial is an exhausted parent trying to maneuver through packed waves of other exhausted parents. Jen realized the Disney experience wasn't always filled to the brim with smiles. Luckily, the parks do have ways to help with the chaotic crowds.

One of them was the use of nifty FastPass tickets available to any paying guest. Essentially, she grabbed a ticket with a specific timeslot printed on it, and when she arrived to the attraction at that time, she could skip waiting in a long line and head right to the front. But, in recent years, Disney created something even better for loyal visitors.

They're called MagicBands, and they offer a whole lot more than just your regular FastPass. These microchipped wrist accessories not only act as their own FastPass, but guests can also use them to purchase food and drink, buy souvenirs, unlock hotel rooms, board hotel-airport shuttles, and scroll through photos taken by in-park cameras.

Basically, if you want to have the full Disney experience and receive a whole bunch of perks most other guests don't even know exist, you invest in a Disney MagicBand. As soon as Jen heard about this new scannable access pass, she knew she had to have one.

Jennifer was an avid computer gamer who spent much of her time live-streaming videos on the social media platform Twitch under the alias Mrs. Fett. She lived in the community of Celebration, a unique census-designated area a few minutes drive from the theme parks, and she wore her MagicBand constantly — until an accident forced her to rethink the bracelets.

Jennifer and her boyfriend hopped on their motorcycle to enjoy an afternoon cruising the streets and basking in the warm Florida sunshine. At one point, the motorcycle throttle thrust the bike forward, causing Jennifer's MagicBand to pop off. Hoping that it hadn't shattered, she hopped off to retrieve it from the street.

Fortunately, her expensive accessory was still intact, but the whole incident got her thinking about ways to ensure she never lost the band again. After a bit of brainstorming and online research, she contacted a company called Dangerous Things.

Dangerous Things specialized in creating microchips. Jennifer sent the company two Disney MagicBands, which it dismantled. Then, Dangerous Things encapsulated the removed computer chips into clear casings and sent them back to Jennifer. This was the first step in a very unorthodox plan.

The small encasings sent back to Jennifer weren't just made of regular plastic. They were actually specially designed bioprotein casings that could enter into the body safely without the electronic chip disrupting the function of internal organs.

That's right, the whole goal of contacting Dangerous Things was to have the MagicBand's microchips inserted into Jennifer's body! Plenty of Disney superfans had Mickey tattoos and earrings, but surely most of them would never dream of implanting a Disney computer.

As horrifying as that sounds, it apparently was a fairly easy procedure. Jennifer said, "There is a tiny teeny itty bitty baby incision here that is about half an inch long, and the implant sits actually through there. After we made the pocket, it was as simple as sliding it in, a butterfly stitch shut, and done. We did it really relaxed and it took us 45 minutes."

Of course, the procedure wasn't completely free of pain, but Jennifer was more than willing to have this needle pierce her skin and plant the microchip. "It’s a simple process, but it is definitely not a 100% pain-free process. But it’s kind of like your stepping stone. That’s how you earn it."

Jennifer happily toughed out the procedure, and less than 24 hours later, this was what her wrist looked like. "Recovery is great. I had minimal swelling, but as you can see I can completely move my wrist. I don’t feel it at all. The only time I ever feel it is if either my Husky jumps on me or I knock it on something," she explained.

A couple days later, you couldn't even tell Jennifer had a microchip implanted in her. "It lays completely flat and, you know, the placement is perfect. But it’s like the rest of them where it’s so well hidden and just deep enough that, like, you can’t actually see the indentation in my hand." Shockingly enough, she wasn't the first person to undergo this procedure.

"Mission Disney Biohack" was first attempted by James Rosemergy, but unfortunately, there were too many safety features built into the MagicBand microchips that he couldn't override. However, Jennifer sought help from a company that specialized in biohacking, which gave her a huge advantage. The procedure also meant Jennifer officially slipped into a new category of being.

Believe it or not, because she had a microchip implant, technically that made her a cyborg! You might know a certain famous cyborg in the form of Robocop. Of course, she wasn't fighting crime with a body mostly compromised of machinery, but she was prepared to bust into Disney theme parks at a moment's notice. Unfortunately, an unexpected obstacle got in her way.

Almost immediately after the coronavirus tore through every country in the world, all the Disney parks immediately shut down. Jennifer was forced to stay home and keep hope alive that her procedure would eventually pay off. It took nearly a year for restrictions to start easing up, but eventually she returned with her new MagicBanded arm.

And (drumroll, please!)... It worked! The invasive procedure was completely worth it, as Dangerous Things was able to do what fellow cyborg James Rosemergy couldn't. In fact, James actually reached out to Jennifer to chat with her about the entire experience, and she happily discussed everything in detail with (a probably jealous) James. Though he wasn't the only one to find out...

As you can imagine, once Disney caught wind that there were visitors cracking open the MagicBands and surgically implanting the microchips in their arms, they began putting warnings on the boxes to dissuade curious biohackers. But, unfortunately, this isn't the only bizarre scandal that's sent the company into damage control mode. In fact, in 2016, it only took seconds for a fun day at the park to turn into a virtual nightmare.

It was a normal day at Disneyland when Animal Kingdom's staff failed to notice a large snake that slithered out of one of the enclosures and into the park. It wound up falling onto a young boy and biting him on the neck — which in itself is terrifying — but he managed to survive. The boy's grandmother, however, was so shocked from the sight she died of a heart attack.

Seeing the fireworks displays at Magic Kingdom is a wonderful thing, but the wonder vanishes pretty quickly when the show winds up starting a small fire. In 2015, parkgoers were enjoying a beautiful night, and next they were watching as the Seven Dwarfs' Mine went up in flames. Reedy Creek Fire Department claimed the cause was the turf grass used in the ride.

Who doesn't love a ride that comes with a Kodak moment? Well, probably the group of women whose tops flew off just as the camera snapped a photo of them on Splash Mountain. The incident became enough of a concern that a new department was created just to remove the pictures before they were seen.

Park visitors aren't the only ones who suffer from Disney slipups. During one of Magic Kingdom's famous parades, a float drove a little too close to Pluto and actually ran him over. Sadly, the actor playing the character later died from his injuries.

Other Disney park employees have had their fair share of injuries as well, many of which happened at Hollywood Studios' Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular. Since the show's 1989 debut, three people have been horribly injured from falling, and one person even died just by performing a simple tumble roll. Definitely not worth the adventure to the hospital — or the morgue.

Character employees are also given strict rules that must be followed at all times. Specifically for "fur characters," the golden rule is "no taking the costume off or breaking character," or else you'll be let go. On one occasion, a parade employee dressed as Dumbo actually vomited in his suit but had no choice but to stay in costume and remain on the float!

Disney World is the most popular, child-friendly amusement park in the world – so of course sex predators will gravitate towards it. The shocking evidence for this came to light in 2014 when CNN found that 35 Disney employees in the Florida area had been brought into custody for sex crimes with children since 2006.

Disney World is a decidedly better final resting place than a graveyard, which is probably why the park has to contend with people bringing their loved ones’ ashes onto rides and then sneakily pouring them out. The Haunted Mansion is seemingly a favorite among the recently deceased, and poor park staff are often required to use a special HEPA vacuum to clear them up. Yikes.

Another part of the park that needed a huge modern upgrade was Splash Mountain. The ride caused controversy for decades due to it being based on the racist Disney film Song of the South, but it wasn't until 2020 that a change finally came. Now, plans are in place to have the ride redesigned after The Princess and the Frog, a much more family friendly choice.

It's safe to say Disney workers have it pretty rough, especially the costumed ones. The characters in suits, dubbed "fur characters," have to endure exhausting heat from their costumes year round. Even in the colder temperatures they break a sweat, and the heavy weight doesn't help either. The costumes can weigh up to 47 pounds, equating each shift to a hefty workout for only minimum-wage pay.

When the Pirates of the Caribbean ride first opened, many were upset by the ride's infamous "wench auction" scene — unsurprisingly, most felt that women being sold into marriage wasn't quite the best message to send to little girls. Years later, Disney decided to remove these damsels in distress and replaced them with an antiques auction instead.

Along with the "fur characters" there are also the "face characters," who just dress in Disney characters' clothes. You'd think they have the better deal, but even these workers have their fare share of issues. Just about all of these employees have been attacked and harassed by park visitors, and they're all paid minimum wage with no perks whatsoever. It's enough to make even Tinker Bell go red in the face!

The Tigger attack of 2007 wasn't an isolated incident. A lot of the costumed characters have been accused of inappropriate behavior around park guests, though only a portion of these accusations have proven true. Sometimes the actors just don't realize where their hands are — and sometimes, they absolutely do.

At Disneyland Paris, two chefs committed suicide in 2010. This was followed in 2013 by an employee who tried to set himself alight. One of the chefs left a note saying, “I don’t want to work for Mickey anymore.” His father said that his son was depressed about the food at the park being switched from freshly-made to frozen – surely the final straw for any Frenchman.

For a long time, Disney never thought to have health warnings for their more intense rides. But after three different people died of heart failure — including a 12-year-old — they decided enough was enough. The parks now have a whole booklet of restrictions and advisories, hundreds of strategically placed defibrillators, and staff members are now trained on how to perform CPR and other life-saving measures.

Roller coasters aren't for everyone, and there's no shame in that (you wusses). However, there are dangerous consequences for those who attempt to jump ship in the middle of the ride — including not living to tell the tale. Disney has taken stronger measures to ensure even the most fidgety passengers are locked in safely, but it still hasn't exactly helped with their image.

Located on Bay Lake in the grounds of Disney World, River Country was Disney’s first-ever water park. Now in 1980, a young boy of 11 was killed by a brain-eating amoeba, Naegleria fowleri, which lived in the semi-fresh waters of River Country that kids used to swim in. The park closed down in 2001 and remains eerily abandoned to this day.

Pinocchio snorting coke? Dumbo in an orgy? The Seven Dwarves smoking pot? Okay, that last one’s perfectly feasible, but actor Trevor Allen was privy to all these things while working as a cast member at Disneyland. Not afraid to get in on the action, Allen – conveniently dressed as the Mad Hatter – once tripped out on a pot brownie as well.

At first, this kid's dad thought he was the one starting trouble, but it turns out Tigger had the wrong idea about "fun, fun, fun" — he straight-up whapped this teen in the face! As upset as the family was, once they realized what had happened, no consequences came to Tigger.

Humans aren't the only ones being exploited in the magical world of Disney. Though they aren't forced to do circus tricks for literal peanuts, the many animals of Disney's Kilimanjaro Safari are manipulated to show face for their guests. Air-conditioned rocks, for example, are placed close to visitors to bring the animals forward.

The animals kept at Disney's parks seem to be treated pretty well, but there is still a great deal of debate regarding their care, especially when a number of these animals died early on in the process. Animal rights activists had more cause for concern back when these habitats were first created, though there are still whispers of mistreatment today that keep these groups on their toes.

Most of the skellies on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World are fake – surprise, surprise. But the skull-and-crossbones on the headboard above the skeleton sitting in the bed looks a bit... different – because it’s real. Who knows who it once belonged to?

If you thought things were bad for regular employees, try college interns. You've probably heard of Disney's highly sought after College Program, but it's even more BS than a regular internship. With Disney, interns are merely minimum-wage employees that aren't even paid! Although it looks good to have "Disney" on your resume, these internships are no better than any other menial labor job.

Disney employees did eventually get a happily ever after of their own, but that was only after the Department of Labor went after the conglomerate for not paying over a thousand employees their due. Between unpaid overtime and not covering costume and uniform costs, Disney had been taking advantage of its employees for years. It wasn't until 2017 that a case was opened for the 16,339 mistreated employees.

Disney World and Disneyland like to protect their squeaky-clean image; indeed, they would rather you didn’t know that a horror B-movie was once shot at both locations without Disney’s permission. Maybe Escape from Tomorrow director Randy Moore should be expecting a visit from the Seven Dwarves’ hit squad, or perhaps a Dumbo drone, soon.

Back in 1985, about 240 park guests were given the shock of a lifetime when the Disney World monorail burst into flames. One of the train's tires had apparently burst, causing enough friction against the rail to ignite the fire. With the monorail track set some 30 feet off the ground, the passengers either risked the jump or climbed to the roof to escape the flames.

Disneyland is full of mind tricks. First up, it uses “smellitizers” all over the park; on Main Street, for example, you inhale the sweet aroma of cookies despite there being no cookies. Cinderella Castle, meanwhile, looks bigger than it actually is thanks to forced perspective; the castle’s bricks actually get smaller the higher they go.

As a kid, you probably didn't notice all the smokers around you in Disney. In spite of bans against smoking across the country, Disney was repeatedly criticized for allowing its visitors to puff freely for decades. It is, however, one controversy the company has tried to make amends for... partially. Since 2019, smoking has become prohibited in many areas, though there are still designated areas for it scattered around Disney parks.

In 1974, 18-year-old Debbie Stone got the dream side-job as a hostess for “America Sings,” a new musical performance at Disneyland. But during one evening performance after Debbie left the stage, park guests heard a horrifying scream and rushed to find the teenager crushed to death between the rotating wall and stage. Even to this day, no one knows exactly how it happened.

Disneyland is beloved for its pyrotechnics. However, during one of its shows – which involved setting fire to water – a whole paddling of ducks quacked their last when they got burned to death. In fairness to Disney, it has now inserted a bubble machine to scare the ducks away during shows.

Unless you’re a criminal, you can’t really mock someone for working closely with the FBI; they’re there to keep us safe, after all. But in the ’50s, at the height of the Red Scare, things were different. In fact, Walt Disney worked closely with FBI boss J. Edgar Hoover and testified against a number of his own animators as being communists.

Aww, lemmings! Aren’t they silly? Throwing themselves off cliffs like that to their deaths? Actually, no, they’re not. This misconception stems from the 1958 Disney “documentary” White Wilderness, where filmmakers pushed lemmings off a cliff into the water below to make it look like they were jumping. They then claimed that this was simply in the lemming’s nature. Lies! Disney lies!

In 1989 Disney threatened to take legal action against three daycare centers in Florida that had lovingly painted life-sized versions of Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Goofy on their walls. Because... “trademarks.” The nurseries had to remove the paintings, but it all ended happily for them as rival animation studio Hanna-Barbera let them use its characters for free.

Adriana Caselotti is best known as the voice of Snow White in the Disney movie. In fact, she’s only known for that role – because Disney banned her from doing future work that entailed using her voice. Why? In order to preserve “the illusion of Snow White.” She was even banned from being interviewed on the radio, effectively ending her career right as it started.

There are many nooks and crannies to California’s Disneyland, and this has led people to wonder what mysteries lurk behind some of those innocuous-looking doors. One of these doors, in New Orleans Square, actually leads into Club 33, an exclusive speakeasy and one of only two places that serve alcohol in Disneyland.

The Tree of Life, which represents all nature’s diversity with hundreds of animal carvings, is the centerpiece of Disney World’s Animal Kingdom. It’s ironic, then, that it’s actually made from an oil rig. Just try not to imagine the pretty carved birds coated in the fallout from an oil spill.

Today’s all-welcoming Disney would squirm at the way the company turned down a female animator for a job in 1938. Mary Ford’s rejection letter stated that all creative work at the company was “performed entirely by young men.” Worse still, the letter was penned by a female employee.